pemsylvania:

the best part of Easter is that I get to hide empty Easter eggs at other peoples Easter egg hunts and watch the fights break out and families fall apart

grimelords:

Telling the substitute teacher the wrong names: a classic. Telling the substitute teacher you are so old and born again every day, that ten thousand names could never define you, that you’re a shadowed mass swirling forth from jupiter, that your father is time and your mother is death, that you’ll swallow any scream of hers as you grow larger and ever larger: a super classic, king of the school, no homework ever.

postllimit:

when u use ur boobs to get someone to notice u

image

disparateyouth:

bagged milk is unnatural. the bible says adam and eve not adam and bagged milk

i-lost-my-heart-in-republic-city:

frozen-astrid:

is this frozen?

Don’t let them in 

Don’t let them see

Be the old man you always have to be

owlmylove:

avvadakedavvra:

disneyprincessdreams:

anniephantom:

why doesn’t disneyworld have a kuzcotopia

image

Because they would have to destroy the homes of the locals to make room for it

that hasnt stopped any corporations before

#SHOTS FIRED

This morning at BUR airport
TSA: Congrats you're TSA Precheck approved.
ME: Thanks
TSA: Please take your laptop out, shoes off, etc..
ME: I thought Precheck meant I didn't have to do that?
TSA: Right, but only in the Precheck line.
ME: Where's the Precheck line?
TSA: It's closed.
ME: So then why did you congratulate me?
TSA: It's a real achievement to get Precheck
ME: Seriously?
TSA: Keep moving...

lesboflow:

Comment on the size of a man’s penis and it’s a low blow and a stab at his masculinity. Comment on the size of a woman’s anything and it’s a social norm. 

lestradeisasilverfox:

Nathan Fillion is not appreciated enough.

richwhitelesbian:

earthkingdomprincess:

in 2014, its going to be 100 years since WWI began

how long until it ends? fuck this war